Even though marijuana is steadily becoming legal in this country, I bet most weed farmers in the U.S. reject legit distribution channels. Why bother with taxes and annoying Department of Cannabis Control regulations when it’s simpler to go through the existing blackmarket? 

Unfortunately, operating a rogue marijuana farm comes with a host of problems. Farmers don’t have to worry about the DCC, but they have to deal with nosy neighbors, local police and saboteurs. That’s why these enterprises are generally located in the most remote areas possible. 

Author Armand Rosamilia doesn’t specifically say where the farm in High on Bigfoot is located (he merely says that it’s in the middle of nowhere), but I presume it’s in Northern California or Oregon—in an area hidden deep in the forest on a mountaintop in hard-to-navigate terrain. 

There are other problems these outlaw farms have to wrestle with. A lot of dangerous creatures live in the Pacific Northwest—such as mountain lions, grizzly bears and giant hornets. It’s also the home of Bigfoot. And you can bet your bippy that this reclusive cryptid doesn’t like having its territory trampled upon. 

Buck and Aiden thought getting summer jobs working at the marijuana plantation would be great fun. They figured they’d smoke a ton of weed and earn enough money to attend community college in the fall. So what if they were doing something illegal—it was a better gig than flipping burgers at McDonald’s, right? 

Things didn’t quite go as planned for the two best friends. The first day on the job, they’re assigned latrine duty. And that night, they were duped into paying extortion money to a gang of bullies. The two stoner kids got straight pretty quick.  

Plus, there’s a lingering Bigfoot problem to worry about. “We do what we need to do,” explains Gestapo Karl, the Neo-Nazi boss of the farm. “We feed it and make sure it stays on top of the mountain and never comes down to hunt. We made a deal with it.”

BTW: How do you make a “deal” with Bigfoot? Is there some type of negotiation process? A lawyer review? Adequate compensation? Signed court documents? Maybe a handshake? I dunno. It sounds iffy to me. 

Whatever the case may be, Bigfoot isn’t playing by the rules any longer. It’s tired of eating weasels and chipmunks and starts eviscerating farmworkers left and right. In a botched rescue mission, Buck and Aiden are coerced into entering the beast’s lair to look for missing coworkers. They know it’s probably a suicide mission, but anything is better than shoveling shit eight hours a day. 

The end comes fast and furious with nearly 100 farmworkers dying in a single late night massacre (Bigfoot tore through the camp like it was made of tissue paper, says the author). Buck and Aiden survive the onslaught by locking themselves in a safe room and eating cookies all night. Thank God for munchies, amirite? 

[High on Bigfoot / By Armand Rosamilia / First Printing:  April 2023 / ISBN: 9781922861641]