Gigi Stein is a monster woman living in a human world—a green-skinned, pinup, hotrod beauty queen with a bad temper. Like all the best green ladies (such as Gamora, She-Hulk and the Wicked Witch of the West), Gigi is hell on wheels. 

For some reason, hotrods have played a big part in monster culture over the years, and Loretta Kendall’s novel Gigi’s Monster Garage is definitely part of that continuity. I can’t tell you why monsters and nitro-burnin’ muscle cars hooked up in the first place—blame it on Ed Roth, I guess, or George Barris, Robert Williams or maybe Elizabeth Watasin. And don’t forget about Rat Fink, Mr. Gasser, the Weird-ohs, Odd Rods and the Munster’s Drag-u-la Coffin Car.  

Kendall’s novel is an adult monster romance starring a Bettie Page-like Bride of Frankenstein, an abusive Frankenstein greaser and a sexy human fboy. Also in the mix are a sundry of memorable supporting characters to make things extra spicy. My two favorites of the bunch are Barrett Jackson, the seven-foot Sasquatch who talks like a 90s-era sit-com hipster and Izzy, a blue imp who’s described as “a sparkling, glitter-bombed, rhinestone-loving weirdo.”

The drama began five years ago when some kind of “flashpoint” created a single world shared by humans and monsters. It was like everyone went back in time to relive Halloween circa 1953. “It’s just crazy,” reflects Fox Adams, the dreamy drifter who ultimately falls in love with Gigi. “Until recently, monsters were just stories on a movie screen. Then bam! Here they are.”

In this version of “Horror Earth,” Victor Frankenstein VII is a rich billionaire who digs up dead people, sprinkles them with fairy dust and sells them as sex slaves. Gigi Stein isn’t like the other “Frank-n-People,” however. She’s not a reanimated love doll lacking brains and emotions. She’s smart and has feelings. Despite what she’s been told by Frankenstein and all the other monsters, she knows deep down that she has a soul. She won’t let anyone use her body as a tool for their pleasure.

But, alas, Gigi is a monster with a raging monster libido. She needs some relief. She’s got an impressive collection of sex toys in her closet and often uses her motorbike as a vibrator, but what she really wants is a tumble between the sheets with a willing partner. Because she refuses to have sex with Frank N. Stein—the monster she was originally made for—she needs to start dating.

That’s when Fox Adams arrives. Described as “sex on raw steel,” he immediately catches the attention of Gigi. She offers him a job at her auto shop and starts flirting with him right away. After a few weeks of stop-and-go action, the pair agree to go on a romantic date.

There’s only one problem: Poor Gigi’s never been on a date before. After all these years she still doesn’t know the first thing about humans and their mating rituals. 

For advice, she asks her best friend Izzy what to expect. “Here’s what you do,” says the sassy blue devil girl. “Get down on your knees and suck him like a lollipop. And if you’re lucky that boy will eat your cookie like the Cookie Monster.” That sounds like pretty good dating advice to me. 

[ Gigi’s Monster Garage / By Loretta Kendall / First Printing: April 2023 / ISBN: 9798338418074 ]