Coming Out of the Coffin is about Vladimir Radu, a 23-year-old gay vampire from New Jersey. The novel’s title is a cute pun that promises readers a funny LGBTQ+ coming-of-age story with a horror twist. And that’s exactly what author D.A. Holmes delivers.

It’s a terrific book, but I have one little quibble with the book’s premise. Vlad’s sexual angst was basically a non-issue. Vampire queerness has already been integrated into mainstream media. Was Carmilla gay? Yes. Was Dracula gay? Probably. Was every vampire in an Anne Rice novel gay? The truth was, all vampires were symbols of non-binary sexuality—they were transgender creatures of the night.

Vlad was gay, but honestly he had more pressing problems to worry about. For one thing, drinking human blood was now off his diet. No more killing, no more lurking about in the shadows. The whole vampire thing had become totally repulsive to him. 

Could a young, urban vampire like Vlad survive simply by eating popcorn and drinking soda every day? No, of course not. For a vampire or anyone else, that wasn’t a great diet. “It’s not healthy,” warned his mother. “You’ll become weaker and lose your senses. Your hunger will take over and you’ll transform into a creature of sheer carnage.” She was talking about “vampire psychosis” of course—a feral state of bloodlust that would turn Vlad into a raging superpowered monster. That’s exactly the thing he was trying to avoid. 

Vlad was also trying to avoid a gruff, hyper-masculine  vampire hunter named Lance Crosby. This guy was a hardcore nutjob. He enjoyed capturing “suckers” and letting them sizzle like bacon in the sun. Instead of smelling like a nice piece of pig meat, he noted, they generally smelled like pig shit. 

In a weird way, this was all new and exciting to Vlad. He grew up in a world of creaking mansions and old shriveled servants. His childhood was like a staid old Victorian-era novel. There had to be more to life than that, he thought. “I want to explore the world,” he told his unsupportive parents. “I want to live life as a human. Get out there. Date guys and fall in love.”

Moving out of his parents manor, getting a job, making friends and hooking up with a cute gym rat was all part of being a young independent vampire. So what if Vlad was being stalked by vampire hunters and 19th century occultists? So what if his parents didn’t approve of his new lifestyle? He wanted to experience the true misery of human life in all of its glory. Mission accomplished. 

[ Coming Out of the Coffin / By D.A. Holmes / First Printing: July 2023 / ISBN: 9798395301598 ]