Bramley was a college dropout working the graveyard shift at an all-night gas station. Because of his shitty job, he could barely pay rent. He lived in the urban slum of Leedham, the armpit of Massachusetts, and had no friends and a two-timing girlfriend. On top of everything else, he couldn’t leave his apartment because there was a zombie pandemic raging in his neighborhood. 

The zombie outbreak turned out to be a kick in the butt for Bram. Here was his opportunity to reinvent himself, leave his dead-end job, dump his cheating girlfriend, kill some zombies and go back to school to get a business degree. There were monsters in the streets but the future looked bright, he told himself. 

Jeff O’Brien’s latest novel, The Halloween Orgy Massacre, Part 2, was a loopy horror comedy and a randy harem romance rolled into one. Love and danger were in the air and Bram had no problems surrounding himself with a battalion of pretty girls to keep him warm during the apocalypse. 

There’s Bianca, an olive-skinned dominatrix who didn’t go anywhere without her whip and cat-o-nine tails. She wasn’t afraid of any man, dead or alive. “Isn’t this exciting?” she said enthusiastically. “I can’t wait to slay some zombies!” 

Then there was Tess, the buxom spitfire who favored pink wigs, skimpy outfits and Meiji Matsumoto anime. When she wasn’t watching Galaxy Express 999 and Captain Harlock videos, she was dancing at the Bursting Cherry strip club on the edge of town. She and Bramley hit it off immediately. “Let’s fuck like the world’s ending,” she said, “and then I’ll make some pancakes for us.”

And finally there’s Lilly, a perky goth girl with a big boner for Bram (if you’re curious, Lilly’s the one on the book’s front cover). She knew how lonely the zombie apocalypse was for a young man, so she sent him a selfie of herself masturbating. “What’s a little nudity between friends?” she asked innocently. 

It was Lilly—the smart one—who figured everything out. She wasn’t a conspiracy theorist or someone who jumped to illogical conclusions, but it was easy for her to connect the dots between the state’s governor, the military and the zombie virus. She knew the zombies were part of a nefarious plot to flatten the slums of Leedham in order to erect high-rent apartments and lavish restaurants. Everyone agreed it was a dirty rotten plan. 

Along with a good-natured pimp named Stone Stallone Trombone (who dressed not unlike the Joker), Bram and his sexy heroic trio unite to save the world. Their madcap adventure includes lots of bra-busting action but no sex (all the hardcore stuff happens off the page btw). 

In the end, the author wants you to know that his novel isn’t just about male titillation. It’s about grrl power too. The zombie invasion was squashed by three gutsy ladies. “Women,” he said, “were in the right place at the right time and rose to the occasion when America needed some true heroes.” Let’s all say it together: “God bless America!”

[ The Halloween Orgy Massacre, Part 2 / By Jeff O’Brien / First Printing: July 2023 / ISBN: 9798854468527 ]