I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—I don’t think it’s possible to write a bad Bride of Frankenstein story. Mary Shelley only mentions the bride intermittently in her novel, but hundreds of writers have since been inspired by the idea of a female Frankenstein monster.

There’s a terrific Bride of Frankenstein story in a new anthology called The Damned: Classic Monsters. The bride (named Marieke by author Mercedes M. Yardley) was only 30 minutes old when she learned that she’d been created solely to be a monster’s mate. Trigger alert: She wasn’t given an opportunity to express her feelings one way or another because her lips were sewn shut. 

At first Marieke was confused by her contradictions. Dr. Pretorius professed that she was created to rival the gods and Dr. Frankenstein called her a work of art. But she knew, after being paired with her ghastly betrothed and fleeing a mob of angry villagers, that she was a monster herself. She was inextricably the “Sum of Her Parts.”

A couple of stories from Classic Monsters featured vampires from two decidedly different perspectives. “Renfield’s Journal,” for one, was a first-person account from Dracula’s infamous majordomo. What was it like eating rats and cockroaches in the castle dungeon while devoting your life to the king of vampires? Author Lance Taubold knew the shocking truth. 

“What Was Once Flesh” by Tim Waggoner was a story about an old vampire named Al who was mentoring a newly turned vampire. Dylan, the enthusiastic rookie, had questions about his new undead reality. “I’m an apex predator now, the very tip-top of the food chain,” he asked. “But am I more than that? Am I evil?”

The answer, of course, was yes. But Dylan’s idea of evil paled in comparison to the evil machinations of his wizened partner. Drinking blood from the animus (the soul) was like ambrosia to Al and he was using Dylan as a pipeline to his addiction. Even though he wasn’t technically alive, Al had found a way to live the good life.  

For personal reasons, my favorite story was “The Invisible Man” by Jeff DePew because I know firsthand how it feels to be invisible. It sucks. Being unseen can be an effective survival tool, I guess, but it’ll drive you crazy in the end. 

I can’t end this review without mentioning Jeff Strand’s zany contribution. Carl, a 25-year-old werewolf, reluctantly agrees to appear in an adult movie. It’ll be the ultimate porno flick, promised the director. “A bestially masterpiece beyond anything the world has ever seen.” 

“Werewolf Porno” was funny, but it wasn’t without considerable collateral damage. During filming Carl the psycho werewolf killed everybody on set. Not to worry, however; the movie’s director got exactly what he wanted. Blood Orgy Rampage of the Werewolf became the #1 bestselling underground DVD of the year. 

[ The Damned: Classic Monsters / Edited by Mathew Kaufman / First Printing: October 2023 / ISBN: 9781734131123 ]