It all started when Dr. Jane Tiptree found a decapitated sasquatch corpse in a dumpster behind a haunted house. Later, she attached the head of a great white shark to the body. With a few more tweaks, Shark-Squatch became a freedom fighter in the on-going war against misogyny and fascism. 

Dr. Tiptree created Shark-Squatch to fight against the over exaggerated male-dominated society that took root in the United States in the year 2029. For example: the color pink was declared illegal and adult bookstores were now stocked with sports magazines. 

Furthermore, military officers who weren’t straight white dudes were deployed to an island purchased by President Donald J. Trump. Shortly afterward, the U.S. government would declare war on the island and then nuke it off the map. 

In 2031, President Trump appointed podcaster Joe Rogan as the Chief Law Enforcement Officer for the entire country. The police were rebranded as “Agents of Rogan” (AR for short) and they quickly morphed into a Schutzstaffel-like organization. Experts agreed that this was the moment Trump’s brain worm took total control of his body. 

The biggest cultural war happened when Kid Rock was appointed the country’s Chief Music Officer. His clampdown of music created a severe schism between men and women. He championed bands like Iron Maiden, Black Flag and Pantera and banned performers like Taylor Swift, Alanis Morissette and Meghan Trainor. 

It was Trainor, surprisingly, who sparked a nation-wide revolution when she became the avatar of an underground anti-fascist organization. The Pink Pony Club was dedicated to destroying President Trump’s legacy of inhumanity. Because it was a terrorist group, anyone in the club who was captured by the Agents of Rogan would be executed at a participating McDonald’s. 

The Pink Pony Club was happy to have Shark-Squatch on its side. He was a brute—eight feet tall and built like a brick house. Said author Damien Casey: “His abs were harder than concrete filled with steel and wrapped in a balloon made of bulletproof glass.”

Accompanied by Matilda “Tilly” Coralie—his pink bikini-clad BFF—Shark-Squatch invades the central headquarters of AR. The pair’s mission: find out who’s in charge and abolish centuries of government cruelty and oppression.

Before they completed their mission, however, Shark-Squatch and Tilly needed to defeat a few AR monsters. The wildest of them was the Fresno Night-Croc, the only creature that rivaled Shark-Squatch in sheer badass cryptid-animal hybridization. I must admit, Casey’s monsters have always been awesome in previous novels and the Night-Croc is no exception. Standing 12 feet tall, he had two massive red wings and a crocodile snout between his legs. According to Tilly, he looked like an upside-down dick flopping out of a pair of crocodile skin pants.

With his mission done and all the monsters (mostly) defeated, Shark-Squatch became an official Pink Pony Girl. He was half shark, half sasquatch—and all hero.  

[ Shark-Squatch / By Damien Casey / First Printing: January 2025 / ISBN: 9798348184360 ]