With over 50 horror films under her belt, Desiree Starr had earned her status as a scream queen. Twenty years ago, she appeared in He Knows When You Are Naked and she’s still, for better or worse, churning out the same kind of sexy, exploitive and scary movie to this day. 

Sure, she’d love to make the transition to mainstream fare. What cult actress wouldn’t? Unfortunately she’d never been offered a substantial role in an Academy Award-winning movie like Jamie Lee Curtis. Instead, like Linnea Quigley, she supplemented her income with writing books and appearing in horror-inspired workout videos. 

When she was asked to star in an upcoming horror flick being filmed on a college campus in Northern Florida, Desiree jumped at the opportunity. Bullet City, her latest attempt at respectability, was a box-office bomb and she needed the paycheck to pay for her lux Long Beach condo. 

She took the gig but was immediately disappointed by the movie’s nubile cast. She didn’t like seeing the overabundance of busty gals flouncing in front of the cameras. Desiree’s expectations for College of the Living Dead hit rock bottom. She knew from experience that the bigger the actress’s cup size usually meant the lower the film’s budget. 

Desiree would soon discover that the movie had more serious problems than gratuitous nudity. Even before principal shooting began, actors and wannabe actors were being abducted and murdered by a demonic Aztec queen from the 16th century. 

Five-hundred years ago, Zyana, the half-sister of King Moctezuma II, traveled from Mexicana to La Florida in search of the Fountain of Youth. During her journey she was magically transformed into a human-spider-vampire-mole creature. After all those years of searching for the fabled Fountain of Youth, Zyana had turned into a crazy, obsessed monster. 

The scream queen and the Aztec queen don’t tangle until the last four pages of the book—which was kinda disappointing. But I promise there’s more to Return of the Scream Queen (the sequel to Night of the Scream Queen) than a brief novel-ending diva showdown. 

For one thing, it’s pretty funny. Anyone who subscribes to Monster Agogo Magazine and enjoys the quirks of the cult movie industry will get a chuckle from the mix of A-list, B-list and C-list characters in the book. A favorite character of mine was Desiree’s ex-boyfriend, Dr. Donald Becker. The authors really go hard with his obsession with white teeth and his idolization of Tom Cruise.

And finally, Desiree herself was totally awesome. Being a middle-aged scream queen wasn’t easy, but she always found a way to rise above the absurdity surrounding her.   

[ Return of the Scream Queen / By Michael McCarty, Linnea Quigley & Stan Swanson / First Printing: February 2025 / ISBN: 9781946874689 ]